2013년 11월 23일 토요일

About 'largest cats breed'|CAT SMILE - Top Ten Most Popular Cat Breeds







About 'largest cats breed'|CAT SMILE - Top Ten Most Popular Cat Breeds








They               say               they've               been               around               since               the               days               of               the               ancient               Romans.

That               they've               fought               in               battles               next               to               Alexander               the               Great.

That               they               are               the               noblest               and               oldest               of               dog               breeds.

But               when               I               look               over               lovingly               at               my               150               pound               English               Mastiff               he               just               sneezes               and               passes               gas.

If               he               were               filling               out               a               resume,               these               would               be               his               skills.

So,               you               want               to               buy               a               big               dog.

And               not               just               a               big               dog,               but               the               biggest               dog               ever.

The               English               Mastiff.

There               are               some               things               you               need               to               know.
               First,               English               Mastiffs               are               babies.

When               one               of               my               many               cats               gallops               senselessly               across               the               house,               our               giant               dog               will               shuffle               over               and               stand               behind               me,               peeking               around               my               legs.

The               forty               pound               mutt               that               I               inherited               from               Moses               runs               him               all               day               long,               even               keeping               him               from               his               food.

He               just               gazes               adoringly               at               her.
               Now,               there               will               be               drool.

Gallons               of               it.

You               will               find               yourself               running               after               your               Mastiff's               had               a               good               long               drink               of               water               (probably               out               of               the               toilet,               as               they               are               the               perfect               height               for               it).

And               when               you're               cleaning,               you'll               be               amazed               at               his               ability               to               shake               his               head               hard               enough               for               saliva               to               hit               the               walls,               the               ceiling,               clothes               hanging               in               closets,               etc.

Invest               in               towels.
               Room.

Space.

You               think               you               have               enough               of               it.

That's               why               you're               finally               ready,               right?

You've               got               the               big               back               yard               for               the               Mastiff               to               run               around               in.

So               what               if               you               had               to               skimp               on               the               size               of               the               house               a               little.

Look               at               that               land.

Yeah,               you've               just               purchased               the               laziest               of               all               the               dog               breeds.

A               Mastiff's               idea               of               exercise               is               scratching               themselves               and               walking               over               to               see               what's               in               the               litter               box.
               Co-dependence.

Mastiffs               all               need               psychiatrists               working               around               the               clock               to               straighten               them               out.

The               worse               thing               you               can               do               to               these               dogs               (tantamount               to               torture)               is               to               leave               them               alone.

Do               not,               I               repeat,               do               not               have               an               English               Mastiff               if               you               have               no               other               animals.

They               will               be               glued               to               you               all               day               long.
               Body               dysmorphic               disorder.

An               English               Mastiff               will               probably               be               as               big               as,               if               not               bigger,               than               their               owner,               but               they               all               believe               they               weigh               ten               pounds               and               will               fit               in               a               purse.

They               will               sit               in               your               lap,               they               will               knock               you               out               of               your               bed,               they               will               step               on               you               and               crush               your               toes               a               million               times               a               day.
               On               the               other               hand,               they               are               the               gentlest               and               sweetest               of               dogs.

They               are               so               lovable               that               the               grumpiest               of               cats               will               curl               up               between               their               giant               paws.

And               when               they               climb               up               onto               your               lap               their               heads               are               the               perfect               hugging               size.

Just               make               sure               you               have               that               towel.






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